Fast Forward in Slow Motion

Yes, you read that correctly. Getting everyone up to speed will require some fast forwarding, but I’ll need to move in slow motion in order to connect the important developments to each correlating post.

So, here we go…the first big change occurred after my last post in 2016. I started my new medication and the first two weeks (half dose) were great, but everything went to hell once I started the full dose. I thought I was having a relapse, and so did my neurologist. Luckily, it was not. My neuro made some adjustments to my on-boarding plan and I was feeling much better within a few months.

However, I was going through a rough patch in my professional life. I had some irrational thoughts that began to consume me and I ultimately decided to leave the job that I enjoyed with people that I loved working with. I quickly started what was supposed to be a dream job, working from home 80% of the time and the other 20% would be traveling all over the country to provide technical support for title/settlement software programs. I’ve always loved the “admin” side of my industry, this was an opportunity to increase my skills while having some flexibility with my schedule and responsibilities. It was a disaster. Barely two months in, I found myself taking up residence in a hotel in the Dallas area training end users a program that I had never even heard of before. I spent nearly three months working 12-16 hours a day, 7 days a week on a salary basis (no overtime pay). It didn’t take long for me to be completely burned out. The unfortunate part is that the “last straw” moment happened while I was at home for the New Year’s Eve weekend and I ended up losing about $500 of personal items that were still in Texas. The plus side was that I had several job offers within minutes of putting feelers out on social media and I was back to work in less than a week.

Now, I work for a wonderful, family owned company, under the best manager I’ve ever had, and I get to work with my friends (old and new) along with the added bonus of having some pretty fantastic clients who make each day better than I could imagine.

Like I mentioned in Shift Changes, I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. I learned valuable lessons during my time in Texas, and I made several friends, many of which I am still in contact with. I am happy for having the experience, I’m not so happy about the way it ended. Career-wise, I’ve always been a “don’t burn bridges” kind of person, but after my diagnosis, I was lighting those bitches up faster than ever. But, all of that chaos brought me to a pretty amazing place, so I have to believe there’s a method to the madness. One of the toughest things to deal with is acting irrationally when you absolutely know better. Finding balance, for me, means learning how to handle situations differently than I have in the past. Learning new ways to move through life is difficult for anyone, let alone someone dealing with a chronic illness (or two, three, four, etc.), but difficulty never stopped me before and it certainly won’t stop me now.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, oh wait, who am I kidding, I’m a self-proclaimed know-it-all. However, I am trying to avoid setting myself up for failure or disappointment, one moment at a time. My hope is that being honest here will help me continue to grow both personally and professionally.

Thank you for reading, I’ll have another post done by the end of the weekend, in the meantime, I’ll be #losingmybrain



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